Kenton and Mirabelle on Expectations
Description
To get frustrated or stressed, we must build a chain, and expectations can be the weakest link. By removing them, we break the chain.
You can stand beside us as we make these videos by becoming a patron on Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/rewilduniversity
Check out our online video course, "ReWild Your Mind", for many more methods of cultivating a clear, powerful, and positive mind-set. http://rewildu.com/online-courses/rewild-your-mind-online-course/
Visit http://rewildu.com/classes/ for unique educational opportunities in rewilding, wilderness skills, mindfulness, martial arts, primal fitness, and more.
Tags: Kenton Whitman,ReWild University,Human Rewilding,personal rewilding,mindfulness,how to,bushcraft,survival,wilderness survival skills,how to survive in the woods
Video Transcription
[Music]
hello all my friends you've heard me talk about expectation before and don't mean to beat something over the head but this has been coming up with the forest monks out here I think it's such an important thing to recognize because it allows us to stop a chain of mental reaction we all know how reaction works right okay it's a bug-out scenario we go out to our bug-out vehicle and it has a flat tire
oh we start trying to repair that that tire and and we get in we're so flustered that we we back out and we back over the family cat now that adds a new layer of stress to the situation and boom things keep happening and falling apart but we fail to see that usually things are falling apart because we're in reaction mode and our mind is just grasping onto this grasping onto that lashing out at this lashing out at that it's not thinking clearly it's not able to see the situation whether you're bugging out or you're having a conversation with a friend or a loved one or you're trying to solve some kind of problem or puzzle so this part of our mind it's so essential not just for stressful emergency situations but for our daily life that we come into a relationship with that we understand how it works because if we understand how it works we understand the role of expectation yeah it seems complicated but watch this it's actually gonna be kind of simple yeah this is this was I'm gonna recall an instance in the past year where a forest monk got frustrated with mosquitos trying to get some sleep and got really frustrated with mosquitoes and just had an awful terrible night got so angry that his flash yeah a little flashlight with him and it was kind of malfunctioning and honey through it it got lost in the woods all this just bursting out semi-functional headlight so and I think you've been experiencing this too and your emotional journey yeah and it feels like here's the thing it feels like all of a sudden we lose it all right like all sudden were angry all sudden we're frustrated all sudden were filled with anxiety but of course is not true there's a long lead-up we just don't have the mindfulness develop to feel or be censured of that lead up as we become aware of that lead up we can catch it earlier and earlier but that's another video what I want to talk about here is the chain that is necessary to have us explode we're gonna have us fall apart or just to have us react and the really important element to understand in this chain is the element of expectation so that forest monk was reporting that earlier in the night mosquitoes were super super intense but they didn't really bother he was good at dealing with him and you and he did something and just was like okay whatever it's mosquitoes man he came back to camp and decided it was time to fall asleep expectation was injected into the situation now there's an expectation or desire and that desire is not being met because the external the mosquitoes no it's the same external that wasn't bothering him before but now with the addition of expectation that created this immense frustration and falling apart well and then it completely changes and the big difference is expectation goes into that so if we can just have an emotion let's say frustration or anger and we just have it it's going to dissipate very quickly but if we don't want to feel that anger we don't want to feel that frustration it builds right yeah and you've at some point we're gonna you have to do a video and share with people your journey because you've come so leagues with this it's amazing but noticing that this is a chain to get to explosion to get to frustration to get to reaction is a chain of things one thing is some sort of external those mosquitoes the flat tire whatever it is that external it also needs expectation right so if I have a flat tire but I wasn't expecting there to be four whole tires there I'm not surprised I'm not upset I need that expectation and so if we remove the expectation then the externals don't have the same effect on us it's time to go to bed but those mosquitoes they weren't bothering me but going to sleep gonna be hard and then it certs yeah it starts getting hard but the only reason it's not the external it's because we've attached the expectation yep and I want to get to sleep that's being frustrated by the external there's the magic of it so if I if I go out and I just have no expectations of my car starting or not starting or there being a flat tire or not being a flat tire then I cannot be frustrated about it if a person comes home you know if your partner comes home from from work and you expect them to be in a good mood then if they're not you're gonna have reaction you're gonna have frustration if you have no expectations of how they're going to be then there's nothing for the external to attach to and you're probably gonna meet them with compassion and love and then it's not going to turn into a big or a fight we live under this illusion that we need to have these strong expectations that nothing will happen if we don't but oddly when when I put people into survival scenarios or I go into those myself or we're dealing with emotions at home whatever it is it's the expectation that creates the problem yeah like for a while I'm gonna get man today but I will every day and then what happened yeah so releasing expectations it's powerful stuff the outer world the externals don't have the same power over you anymore it's not that they aren't still going to affect you we all have our limits right but this is a huge key - removing pull out your stump I Neal I was pushing I thought it was so hey that's almost kind of a little example all right that didn't really faze you that external if you came out here and you were saying I expect nature to be soft and non pokey and as comfortable as I am inside you could have got kind of upset see I told you nature's there's bees out here and there's things that poke you and there's poison ivy and ah or oh my gosh look at this it's poked right into me so share about this I know I've gone on on about it a lot here but this will change our lives it's so powerful to come into a new relationship with expectation and write in the comments what you think about it because there's a trap here where we feel like I don't have expectations I won't do anything but expectation talked about this in the past holy it like that or expectation holding it like that I hold it like this so much tension I hold it like this it may leave me but I'm not expecting to hold on to it and usually oddly when we don't expect something the thing we're giving up comes to us it's like sleep you were having trouble getting the sleep for a while you wanted to go to sleep really fatty one of the false if you want to fall asleep really bad you can't fall asleep because there's so much tension if you can say you know what I fell asleep I fell asleep if I don't I don't next thing you know
for drifting on so it's not just a way to de-stress ourselves it's actually a way to often achieve our goals or our desires in a very paradoxical sense hope that makes them sense in a paradoxical way again share in the comments your thoughts your experiences with this have you played with expectation and recognize the role that it plays in your life what does it feel like when you change your relationship with an expectation yeah thanks for watching my friends talk with you [Music]
About the Author
ReWildUniversity
To aid and inspire you on your personal re-wilding journey, ReWild University brings you videos on edible wild plants, tree climbing, natural movement, ancestral skills, and much much more!
More articles from this author
- ReWild University Obstacle Course
- Conditioning to Cold Weather
- Using Food as a Motivation Tool!
- Aging Doesn't Make Us Old
- Bizarre and Beautiful Ice Worms
- Primal Fitness In Your House
- Light My Fire Scout 2.0 Swedish Firesteel Review
- Eric's Survival Scenario Challenge
- Making Pineappleweed Tea
- The Power of Posture
- Starting a Fire with a Mushroom (Polypore Fungus)
- Extreme Winter Survival Overnight
- Matt's 11 Month Forest Monk Training, Episode 8
- Free Gift -- Forest Monk Training Handbook
- Hard Core Survival Gear -- The Pillowcase?
- Matt's Final Video at ReWildU
- Two Women Fall Through Ice and Discuss the Nature of Fear
- The Sugar Challenge
- How Would You Help the Wild?
- How To See More Animals in the Woods
- The Power of Gratitude
- Paleo Fitness Power Stick
- Testing natural tinders (monoculture test)
- Best Barefoot Running Shoes
- Transforming Peer Pressure
- Homemade Survival Matches with Pitch Glue
- The Art of Wild Shapeshifting
- The Power of the Cold Shower
- A Different Perspective on Drug Use
- Matt's 11-Month Forest Monk Training, Episode 7
- The Upside Down Fire
- What Is Human ReWilding?
- Creating the "Job" of Your Dreams. You CAN Do It!
- Tracking Challenge Two, Identify This Animal
- The life-changing GLOW meditation
- Quick Deploy Paracord Bracelet, POV
- Matt's 11 Month Forest Monk Program, Episode Five
- Cultivating Curiosity
- Our experience with the Wim Hof Method
- The Benefits of Boredom
- Extreme Almost-Naked Winter Survival Overnight With No Gear
- ReWild Your Mind Online Course
- Transforming Fear Part Two, Vulnerability
- Harvesting Burdock Stems
- The Wisdom of Children, Fear Doors
- The Importance of Awareness
- A Message for Preppers -- The best piece of gear is YOU!
- Share Your Adventures
- Matt's 11 Month Forest Monk Program, Episode One
- Winter Wild Edibles, Ground Cherry and Watercress
- A Forest Monk Shares Amazing Wisdom
- Brett's Fire and Ice Challenge
- Primal Fitness Basics, Winter Woods Running
- 20,000 Subscriber Channel Update
- How to Turn Off a Song In Your Head
- Lousy Nostradamus
- Identifying Turkey Tail Mushroom
- Increasing Your Awareness and Enhancing Your Senses in the Woods
- Tree Tracks -- A secret clue in the forest that reveals many things
- ReWildU Tour and Woodslore
- Beginner's Guide to Making Fire with Firesteels
- This Wonder-Full World
- Kill Your Television
- A Quick Trick for Better Patience =)
- How to Rappel With Rope Only (South African Method)
- The Forest Monk Online Training Community
- Harvesting Spring Beauty Roots for Food
- What's Wrong With Modern Agriculture?
- How to Climb Trees Without Branches
- Two ID mysteries -- a mushroom and tracks
- ReWildU Issue Survival Pack Contents
- Help ReWildU Create the Wilderness School of Your Dreams
- An Operating Manual for Your Mind
- Woods Parkour Tutorial, Precision Jump
- How to Hack Time
- How to Transform Anger
- Matt's 11-Month Forest Monk Training, Episode 9
- On the love of nature, and a question
- How to Survive a Fall Through Ice
- A Different Perspective on Loss
- Some Fun Tracking Illusions
- Survival Chocolate With White Avens
- How to Recognize Seven Wild Edibles in Their Earliest Springtime Forms
- Culture Hack -- Who Knows What is Good or Bad?
- The 5-to-1 Fire Challenge
- Calling Upon Flint Knappers and Rockhounds -- Asking for Help Identifying Mystery Stone Flakes
- Hand and Foot Conditioning For Shoe-and-Glove Weakened Hands
- How Flint and Steel Really Works
- Hand Drill Firemaking Beginner's Step by Step Guide
- Using Patreon to Break Free of 9-5
- Harvesting Wild Springtime Ground Beans
- How to Transform Negative Memories
- How to make firebundles -- storable, ready-to-light campfires
- Dealing With Changes in Our Bodies
- Wild Spring Rolls
- How to Make Pine Pitch Glue
- Transforming Dead-End Thinking
- Overcoming Apathy With Eyes of Adventure
- How to Make Sumac Lemonade
- Richard's 4-Month Adventure, Video Two
- Want to try cold showers but you're afraid? Here's some inspiration. From a six-year-old.
- Guided Sensory Meditation
- Bushcraft Plastic
- Network Invitation and 1000 Subscribers Thank-You =)
- Paracord Bracelet Survival Challenge
- Why I Turned Down a TV Survival Show
- Condition Your Mind to Avoid Junk Food
- When The Going Gets Tough
- Matt's 11 Month Forest Monk Program, Episode Three
- Spartan ColdFire Challenge
- A Bow-Making Adventure
- Tracking Mystery #1
- Transforming Fear Part One, Curiosity
- Matt's 11-Month Forest Monk Program, Episode Two
- The Cons of Convenience
- Reach: A Movement Paradigm
- Matt's 11-Month Forest Monk Program, Episode Six
- You Have Choices
- Building a Debris Hut Shelter for Long-Term Living
- Problems vs Challenges
- Rewild University Classes Trailer, 2015
- Wood Nettle Cordage Using the Reverse Wrap Method
- UCO Survival Matches Review
- Can We Transform Money?
- ReWildU Patrons' Q&A Video One
- Incredible Handmade Leather Quiver
- Notchless Hand Drill Fire with Chaga Fungus
- How to Become an Adventurer
- The Gift of Horta
- ReWildU Teacher Tracking Challenge
- Breaking Free of 9 to 5
- A firemaking trick for low-quality punkwood and wet tinder
- Overcoming Irrational Fears
- Patron Q&A Video Two
- Meditation -- Pushups For Your Mind
- The Bowl of Challenges
- Richard's First Week Living in the Woods at ReWildU
- Finding Wild Leeks Out of Season
- The REAL Primal Diet
- Never Rush That Which Must Be Done Quickly
- 12 Wood and Stone Forest Exercises for Strength
- Matt's 11-Month Forest Monk Program, Episode Four
- Coming Together
- The Most Important Moment of Your Life
- How to tie the Moana Knot
- How to Overcome Laziness
- You Matter
- Interview with "The Wheel" star and Marine Shon Joyner
- Asking You for Help
- Richard's 4-Month Forest Monk Training, Video Three
- Natural Navigation -- Shadow Guides
- Forest Monk Pre-Training Guide (for all of us! =)
- Richard's Spartan Coldfire Challenge
- The Ultimate Guide to Splatter Vision/Wide Angle Vision
- Richard's Final Video at ReWildU
- The Kjortel -- an ancient but super-functional garment
- A tracking challenge, plus how to tell deer tracks from coyote tracks via the straddle
- Unfetter Our Minds
- Forest monk shares about relaxing into cold
- The Beauty of Winter (for those who miss wintertime)
- How Has Nature Changed You?
- The Power of Giving
- Wim Hof Metod Experiment for Post-op Pain
- You Are Plastic
- This channel will stay, but I'm also announcing a new channel!
- Hunter's 4-minute Ice Bath
- Sensing and Thinking
- Overcoming Porn Addiction
- Reducing "Fluff" in Your Life
- A Quinzee-Inspired Winter Concept Shelter
- A Strange Exercise With Multiple Benefits
- Some Tracking Mystery Fun For You!!
- A Survival Game -- the One-Item Group Challenge
- Deer Walking -- an easy method to develop more "woods stealth"
- You Can Do Tough!
- Using driving as physical and mental training
- Kenton's "Backstory"
- What Would You Miss If You Lived in the Woods?
- What We Can Do (About The State of the World)
- Conscious Perspectives
- A Question for Veterans with PTSD
- Chickadees, Winter's Hard-Core Survivalists
- Fixing Ourselves Vs. Exploring Our Potential
- Lostproofing 101 -- Understanding Your "Map Sense"
- How to Breathe (Critical Thinking)
- Dealing With Social Exclusion
- Simon, a Forest Monk, shares some wisdom from the woods
- Dakota Fire Pit Variation
- Survival Skills: Staying Warm Without a Fire
- The Generalization Game
- A Family Canoeing Adventure
- Touchstones, A Tool For Taming "Monkey Mind"
- Earthing as a study in conflict
- An Adventure, Sharing Woodslore
- A Forest Monk Speaks of the Benefits of Discomfort
- Three Forest Monks Share Some Experiences
- Why Practice Primitive Skills?
- Giving Up vs. Letting Go
- Stepping Off the Path
- Be Famous to One Person
- Less YT views = a hidden gift
- Underwater Knot Tying Challenge
- A Forest Monk Goes to McDonalds
- How To Deal With Mosquitoes (Without Repellent)
- Taking Things Less Seriously
- Three Forest Monks on an Overland Navigation Trek
- A Challenge -- The Day of Nothing
- Using your pants to start a fire =) (charcloth trick)
- Inhabiting Your Life
- The Delicious Zombie Mushroom! (Lobster Mushroom)
- Testing "Ashcloth" As a Firestarter
- Cultivating Determination
- Take the 2-Week No-Sweet Challenge!
- Transforming Performance Pressure
- Relationships: Keeping Love Fresh
- Accepting Things in Life
- 7 Mystery Knives
- Starting a Podcast! Help us with topic ideas!! =)
- Diet For Our Minds
- Revisions vs. Re-Visions
- What is your perfect knife?
- Transforming Bigotry, Hate, and Judgement (In ourselves and others)
- Meet Djembe!
- Eating Wild Rice Caterpillars
- Helen's Spartan Coldfire Challenge
- Interview with Dustin, Head Instructor at ReWildU
- Tiny Steps (and a tracking challenge!!)
- A Forest Monk's Town Adventure
- Understanding Why Desire Doesn't Get Us What We Want
- Into the Icewater
- 50k Channel Update, Thanks, and Giveaway! =)
- 8-Year-Old Mirabelle's First Almost-Solo Fire
- How to Develop Response over Reaction
- Time to Shine!! =)
- Shedding Our Armor
- MUST KNOW Survival Skill -- Hot Rock Primitive Technology
- Staying Warm in Winter Without Fire